


A Shropshire Troll

by tweedymcgee



Series: Poems [6]
Category: A.E. Housman - Works, Homestuck
Genre: Other, Parody, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-17
Updated: 2012-08-17
Packaged: 2017-11-12 07:29:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/488272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tweedymcgee/pseuds/tweedymcgee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WHEN I WAS ONLY SEVEN SWEEPS<br/> I HEARD SOME FUCKASS SAY<br/>‘GIVE COIN AND PAPER SPECIE<br/> BUT NOT YOUR SPONGE AWAY...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Shropshire Troll

**Author's Note:**

> These are based on A.E. Housman’s famous poem, [“A Shropshire Lad,”](http://www.bartleby.com/123/13.html) and Hugh Kingsmill’s almost-equally-famous parody of it, [“What, Still Alive At Twenty-Two?”](http://laudatortemporisacti.blogspot.com/2009/12/parodies-of-housman.html)
> 
> (Housman’s poem was widely parodied. [Ezra Pound even had a whack at it](http://laudatortemporisacti.blogspot.com/2009/12/parodies-of-housman.html). But Kingsmill’s was the best.)

WHEN I WAS ONLY SEVEN SWEEPS  
 I HEARD SOME FUCKASS SAY  
‘GIVE COIN AND PAPER SPECIE  
 BUT NOT YOUR SPONGE AWAY;  
  
GIVE OSTENTATIOUS MINERALS  
 BUT KEEP YOUR QUADRANTS FREE.’  
BUT I WAS ONLY SEVEN SWEEPS,  
 NO USE TO TALK TO ME.  
  
WHEN I WAS ONLY SEVEN SWEEPS  
 I HEARD HIM SHOOT HIS FLAP,  
‘THE JUICE THAT DRIVES THE BLOODPUSHER  
 IS MIGHTY PRECIOUS SAP;  
  
‘TIS DRAINED WITH ENDLESS CURSING  
 AND CLOTTED UP WITH RUE.’  
AND NOW I’M EIGHT SWEEPS OLD, YOU SHITS,  
 AND IT IS *FUCKING TRUE.*

*****

  
wwhat still alivve at eight swweeps old  
an such a fancy fuckin troll  
sure if youre too tough to drowwn  
go on an cut your moirail dowwn  
  
im guessin youll be pretty mad  
wwhen they come to cull you lad  
but plantsap aint the only pith  
a sickle looks good drippin wwith  
  
so wwhen the sun upends its pail  
an pours wwhite light dowwn every vvale  
trolls wwho still got grubleg scars  
wwill lick their clawws an think a kar


End file.
